Waiting is hard. 

Whether you were deferred or just waiting for later admission decisions, like UMD Early Action decisions on February 1 or Regular Decision answers that come in March and April, you’re stuck in that very hard place of having to wait.

It may seem that you are powerless, but you aren’t. You can take meaningful action.

First, focus on here and now. Stay engaged with your current life. Remember that your worth is not determined by admission outcomes. Admissions decisions have something to do with you but a lot to do with the school’s institutional priorities.

If deferred to Regular Decision. . . 

If you got deferred, carefully follow the specific directions from each school. These directions could be in the portal, in an email, or on the school’s website. If they welcome additional letters of recommendation, send one, but if they say they don’t want you to send anything, don’t.

Make sure you’ve opened all the emails from the schools that deferred you and the ones you’re waiting to hear from. This is a way of demonstrating interest, which can never hurt you (unless you annoy them by calling and emailing incessantly). Even better, read the emails and click on relevant links. Consider visiting the campus if you can. 

If denied admission. . .  

Try to reframe the denial as a message that the school didn’t think you were a good fit for what they’re looking for. It’s not that you’re not good enough. You didn’t fit their institutional priorities. Process the loss and move on. One of my students, denied at her top-choice school, said she was disappointed but “redirecting,” looking toward the schools that accepted her and waiting to hear from the rest. Don’t dwell on what can’t be changed.

If accepted. . .

Review what you liked about the school in the first place. If you haven’t visited, visit. Sign up for an accepted student day and go with an open mind.

While you’re waiting. . . 

Keep your grades strong. Stay involved with your extracurricular activities. Demonstrate interest by opening emails and frequently checking portals. Consider visiting campuses. And remember that every college has its own set of priorities that are probably not easily discernable. Your value is not determined by a college’s acceptance or denial of your application. 

What if I get waitlisted?

First, understand the differences between deferred and waitlisted. 

Deferrals happen with Early Action and Early Decision applications. They are pushing your application into the Regular Action pool. You’ll still get full consideration. It may be that they want to see your first semester grades, or it may be they just had too many applications to read through them all in time. You will find out before May 1, the deadline for committing to The One.

Waitlisting can happen to applications read in the Regular Decision round. Generally, being waitlisted means you’re qualified, but they didn’t have enough space to admit you, so they’re going to wait to see how many of the people they offered admission to actually commit to attending. You won’t find out until after May 1, as late as July, so to be safe, you’ll have to put down a nonrefundable deposit at another school. Waitlist movement cannot be predicted from previous years because they vary so much from one year to another. 

Planning campus visits. . . 

Even though most schools have virtual tours, YouTube videos, and webinars, there’s nothing quite like visiting a campus. Schedule times when classes are in session. Spring breaks vary greatly among colleges. Observe students interacting with each other. Try to sit in on a class in your area of interest. Contact me at khott@twobridgescc.com if you’d like a free copy of my extensive question list. (Lots of questions, but you just pick a couple of questions to ask admissions and a couple to ask a student.) You may also request my photo checklist and a one-page note-taking sheet.

Yes, waiting is hard.

You may be powerless over admission decisions, but you have agency over what you do with the waiting period. Continue to stay engaged with academics, extracurriculars, and relationships. Consider it a time for personal reflection, a time when you can gather information to get clearer about what you want for your college experience. There will be a place for you. In the end, it’s not the college that makes for a good college experience; it’s what you do when you get there.